My New Boyfriend

You have a new boyfriend?

Yep, yummy like a cold glass of water

What does he do?

Make me happy

Where is he?

In the closet

What’s he doing?

Standing up

Can he come out?

Only at night

What’s his name?


Can I see him?

Under the covers

Is he any good?

Yep he has three speeds

Can I try him?

Unsanitary get your own

How big is he?

As big as you want he can grow

Where did you meet him?

The store

How often do you see him?

Almost Every night

Is he married?

Nope single and always free

What’s his color?

Midnight black but there’s other colors

Other colors?

Yes black brown and pink


Can’t leave out the other folks

Other folks?

Yep white and bright

Where’s he right now?

In the closet

Again with The closet.

Dick can you come out please?

He can’t talk

Can he walk ?

Not on his own

How tall is he?

About 10 inches

Is he a midget?

Nope long and lean

Can he kiss good

Nope but he feels me up

Does he have a friend?

Nope, single

Does he have his own place?

Yep, in the closet

Can you please ask him to come out?

Nope, only at night

Is there anything I can know about Dick?

Yep, puts a smile on my face. SEE!

It’s time to take from the back of the closet an boldly put in out front in your bedroom. There’s no need to be a shame. Do you remember your old boyfriend? The one that you had to cater to, had to cook for, had to do laundry and had to put yourself aside so he could feel like he is the man. Your new boyfriend comes with none of those headaches. The biggest thing is he doesn’t talk and there’s no morning breathe. You don’t have to pretend to be satisfied when you need more. You can just push a button and get more. Your new boyfriend carries none of the baggage of old relationships because he’s fresh out of the box. You no longer had to deal with I’m tired on a night when you want Dick. Maybe you should have bought dick out of the closet when you had that old boyfriend. Maybe just maybe you would still have that old boyfriend. You will never know since he’s now you old boyfriend. Your new boyfriend is always ready. You know what shout it loud I Love Dick and then scream it even louder. Don’t be shy. You might be surprised how many people have Dick hidden in their closet. Break the ice and you’ll see Dick is satisfying many people. You never had Dick? It’s never to late the stores where Dick hangs out are open late. You’ll be surprised what you might discover when you go inside, Dick has many sizes, shapes and colors. You don’t know how to use Dick? There’s instructions. What do you have to lose your old boyfriend is gone. Try something new (less headaches). You need to smile Dick can do that. Don’t let nobody make you feel bad about Dick. They are jealous. Who knows they might have a Dick in their closet and just want to throw you off. If you need a new boyfriend or maybe you just want some me time then consider Dick located in a sex store. Dick is hanging out in front for all to see. I hope when you finished smiling and glowing in the aftermath that you pass this around to your friends and see how many also have a new boyfriend named Dick.


Author: Retirement and Dogs

I retired from the Defense Dept after over 30years. I serviced in the United States Army and was stationed at Ft Hood and Wildflecken, Germany.I live in Florida enjoying the hot weather and sunshine. I have two Shih tzu dogs Gg and Mason that spend their day trying to make me wish I was still working.A good aspect of retirement is being able to what I wanted to do instead of having to do. The what I wanted to do is write children’s books. I enjoy reading and gardening and many other activities.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: