You have a new boyfriend?
Yep, yummy like a cold glass of water
What does he do?
Make me happy
Where is he?
In the closet
What’s he doing?
Standing up
Can he come out?
Only at night
What’s his name?
Dick
Can I see him?
Under the covers
Is he any good?
Yep he has three speeds
Can I try him?
Unsanitary get your own
How big is he?
As big as you want he can grow
Where did you meet him?
The store
How often do you see him?
Almost Every night
Is he married?
Nope single and always free
What’s his color?
Midnight black but there’s other colors
Other colors?
Yes black brown and pink
Pink?
Can’t leave out the other folks
Other folks?
Yep white and bright
Where’s he right now?
In the closet
Again with The closet.
Dick can you come out please?
He can’t talk
Can he walk ?
Not on his own
How tall is he?
About 10 inches
Is he a midget?
Nope long and lean
Can he kiss good
Nope but he feels me up
Does he have a friend?
Nope, single
Does he have his own place?
Yep, in the closet
Can you please ask him to come out?
Nope, only at night
Is there anything I can know about Dick?
Yep, puts a smile on my face. SEE!
It’s time to take from the back of the closet an boldly put in out front in your bedroom. There’s no need to be a shame. Do you remember your old boyfriend? The one that you had to cater to, had to cook for, had to do laundry and had to put yourself aside so he could feel like he is the man. Your new boyfriend comes with none of those headaches. The biggest thing is he doesn’t talk and there’s no morning breathe. You don’t have to pretend to be satisfied when you need more. You can just push a button and get more. Your new boyfriend carries none of the baggage of old relationships because he’s fresh out of the box. You no longer had to deal with I’m tired on a night when you want Dick. Maybe you should have bought dick out of the closet when you had that old boyfriend. Maybe just maybe you would still have that old boyfriend. You will never know since he’s now you old boyfriend. Your new boyfriend is always ready. You know what shout it loud I Love Dick and then scream it even louder. Don’t be shy. You might be surprised how many people have Dick hidden in their closet. Break the ice and you’ll see Dick is satisfying many people. You never had Dick? It’s never to late the stores where Dick hangs out are open late. You’ll be surprised what you might discover when you go inside, Dick has many sizes, shapes and colors. You don’t know how to use Dick? There’s instructions. What do you have to lose your old boyfriend is gone. Try something new (less headaches). You need to smile Dick can do that. Don’t let nobody make you feel bad about Dick. They are jealous. Who knows they might have a Dick in their closet and just want to throw you off. If you need a new boyfriend or maybe you just want some me time then consider Dick located in a sex store. Dick is hanging out in front for all to see. I hope when you finished smiling and glowing in the aftermath that you pass this around to your friends and see how many also have a new boyfriend named Dick.
Retirement and Dogs 