We’ve all had or will have that person that stole your heart. Your first love. The one that made you think every day was like that first day. The person that puts a smile on your face. That person that was your forever person. This was your heart and soul, but for whatever reason, the fairytale ended. One day, you’re sitting deep in thought, and you wonder, whatever happened to that person?
You decide to reach out to that person to see what direction his/her life has taken. You pick up the phone and hesitate with each number you hit.
Your heart answers, “Hello.”
You: “How you been?”
Your heart: “Okay, who’s this?
You: “I was thinking about you.”
Your heart: “Who’s this?”
The conversation is stalled. You aren’t sure how to proceed. It definitely wasn’t what you expected, but then again, what did you expect?
You: “Nobody. I must have the wrong number.”
You feel dejected, and your heart, did he/she really not know who you were? The answer is that the person probably knew who you were but just didn’t want to open that door again. The past is the past. You’ve both moved on.
This is a phone call we’ve picked up the phone to make but then put the phone back down. What do you hope to gain? When you’re alone and lonely, it is tempting to get into your feelings and look for that person that made you giggle and climax to the highest mountain, with whom you shared dreams of the future. When you’re lonely, those thoughts hit you hard, and no matter what your mind tells you about going there, your heart overrules it. You just have to know about that person, hoping that maybe, just maybe, that person is sitting over there thinking the same thing.
If you find yourself in this situation, do whatever you have to do to not make that call. Yes, there are times when a lost love can be found, but they are few. If you’re lonely, take a walk, call a friend, go visit your mother. Do whatever, but don’t make that call. You both moved on months or even years ago. You don’t know that person, and that person no longer knows you. You can’t continue from yesterday. What you’re thinking of only exists in a part of your heart that is locked away behind a closed door. Why open it? You would have to start a new relationship, brand new, like with people you’ve never met, but that’s not what you want. You want that relationship you remember, but it can’t come back; you can’t relive it. It is not possible to continue something that ended a long time ago. When you’re reminiscing about a lost love, you also have to remember what caused that wonderful, better-than-life relationship to end. It did end for a reason, and though that reason might not seem important in your loneliness, you have to listen to your mind when it tells you what really happened to your fairytale. A fairytale doesn’t just end for no reason. Be real with yourself.
If you do make that call, know that there is no guarantee that what you’re dreaming of will be the reality that you’re looking for. The loneliness you have may still be there, even after you make the call. The person might even resent you for trying to interfere in his/her life after so long. Why put yourself through that misery? It’s not worth it. Sometimes it’s better to take a dream and smile and go back to sleep than to pursue it. Loneliness is hard, but going back in time to cure it is not the answer either. Let it be. Time heals. Maybe not instantaneously, but it will heal. You just have to keep moving forward and keep that lost love behind the locked door in your heart.
Retirement and Dogs 